|Installs securely in the ceiling
Designed for couples ready to try something really different|
The Sex Swing is a revelation of lovemaking. Nothing else paves the way for flexibility and innovation like this product.
Youíve tried normal sex, abnormal sex, retrosex, somnambulant sex, invisible sex, and sexy sex. Now youíre ready for the real thing: Love Swing sex. Just look at that ceiling in your bedroom. Sure it keeps the roof from falling on your head, but otherwise itís useless, a complete zero in the sex department. Letís correct that right now.
Using the easy-to-follow instructions, install the eye-hook into a load-bearing ceiling beam. Do not rely on those plastic expanders that you use to hang frames in drywall. Those will cause unsightly holes in your ceiling when you fall to your death. Then install the spring, clips, chain, and swing harness. In the time that it took to read this paragraph, you are ready to begin nagging your partner into trying this apparatus. Effective arguments include: ďAh, címon!Ē and ďBut I really want to!Ē
What kind of sex should you have on a swing? Just look at the pictures on the box. Itís all right there, ready for you to follow along. Try one position, then another. Then rest until the blood drains out of your face. Make sure your partner doesnít try to fake an orgasm just to bring this ordeal to a close. When youíre done, unclip the swing from the eye-hook and replace it with a hanging plant that will fool visitors into thinking youíre not a kink-monster.
How much weight will the Love Swing support? Letís put it this way. If youíre heavy enough that youíre kind of worried, thatís too much weight. Leave this kind of fun to the skinnies.