Have a question about anal sex? Here are some honest answers to embarrassing questions.
Some people do, yes. It depends on your body. I hate to talk about poop (Iím lying; I love to talk about poop), but douching really depends on your body and bowel movements. Do you have to wipe 100 times after you poop to feel clean? Does your butt generally feel itchy or smelly or funky? Do you have IBS? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you are a good candidate for a douche or enema.
Do you poop clean, so to speak? If your barely give your bum a second thought and everything seems to be in regular, working order, you can probably have anal sex after a quick butthole cleaning.
So, Um, How Do I Use a Douche?
Get a simple enema bulb like this one. This douche is cheap and reusable. Fill it with warm water and a pinch of sea salt if you have it. Lie on your left side, or get on all fours in your bathroom. Insert the thin applicator into your rectum, using plenty of lube. Squeeze as much of the water as you can hold into your bum, and remove the douche nozzle. Hold the water for a few minutes. Empty your bowels into the toilet. You can repeat this process once if you like. Now take a shower and clean your butthole.
What Do You Mean, Clean My Butthole? How?
Yes, weíve gotten this question more than once. Here is a detailed description of what it means to really clean your bum:
1. Get in the shower.
2. Soap up per usual.
3. Time to pay some special attention to your crack! For your butt, use a gentle soap (try Sliquid Splash or something hypoallergenic like Dove Sensitive). Get some suds going in your hands. Take one or two fingers, and gently work the lather up and down your crack. If thereís hair there, use a lot of soap and pay the hair lots of attention. When you get to your special starfish, use circular motions with the pads of your fingers. Slowly, work your finger in to the second knuckle. Be slow and patient, and bear down a bit, as if you are trying to pass gas. This will help your finger slide in.
Once your finger is inside, swirl around a bit. You should be able to feel any organic matter (POOP!), and if you do, you will know that it is time to go to the bathroom, or perhaps use a warm-water douche. If you donít feel anything inside your butt, you are more than likely good to go for anal sex.
This thorough ass-cleaning does not have to be done in the shower. You can always do it at the sink if you are in a hurry.
When Is the Best Time to Have Anal Sex?
Not after a big meal, when you are stuffed! This is when mishaps are going to happen. We think the best time is when you are relaxed and feeling sexy.
Can you have a couple of drinks? Sure, but donít have so many that you canít tell if something is hurting you.
The best time to have anal is when you feel relaxed and frisky, like any other type of sex. Make sure you don't need to poop, and make sure you are clean. Bam! Now you are ready.
Help! My partner and I have tried to have anal sex, but it just hurts too much.
First, evaluate and ask yourself if you really want to have anal sex. Does the idea excite you? Are you just doing it to make your partner happy? If you would really like to try, remember that slow is the key. In porn, penises slide right into buttholes. What you donít see off-camera is all the lube and preparation that porn stars go through.
Start with foreplay first and genital stimulation. Consider using a small butt plug to begin to loosen up. If youíre going to put something in your butt, make sure it has a flared base. The last thing you want to do is lose a candle in your butt. Not sexy.
After experimenting with fingers or a butt plug, you might be ready to level up to anal sex. To make sure you have total control of the situation, get on top. Yes, get on top. Do you ever see it that way in porn? No, because thatís a bad camera angle. But to control the beginning insertion, being on top helps a lot. You can face your partner or face away, whatever you are comfortable with.
Now, add some more lube.
Now it is time to put that penis in your butt. Guess what? Full insertion could take up to five minutes. Iím serious. FIVE MINUTES. Thatís a lot of time for one stroke! So go slow. Take the whole five minutes. If the person with the penis gets frustrated, smack him with your butt-and-lube covered hand.
Bear down (like you would during a bowel movement; this relaxes your anal muscles) as you sink your weight down. Take millimeter by millimeter of dick, and retreat a bit any time things hurt. The last thing you want to do is split your anal skin; then youíll have to wait for it to heal, and it will hurt every time you poop. Ouch.
Keep going, little by little. Add more lube if you need to. Get a little bit of in and out motion going before you slide all the way down. Breathe deeply, and enjoy yourself. Have your lover use a vibrator or their fingers to stimulate your genitals. Wait until it is easy to slide up and down, and switch positions if you like. If you do switch positions, take it slow in the new position, and move however it feels good.
Should I Use a Numbing Agent Like Anal Eaze?
The jury is out on numbing agents like Anal Eaze. Some people love them because they help you get started a little faster. Some people think anal numbing creams are bad for you, because they can cause you to go so fast that you tear. Be careful either way.
Will My Butt Hurt After Anal Sex?
Well, it all depends on the kind of sex you have had. If you had a gentle, understanding, slow partner, your butthole should feel alright. Youíll probably be able to go to the bathroom without pain, next time the urge strikes. If you didnít use a condom, and your partner ejaculated in your butt, be prepared for some leakage. Yay, leakage! Go to the bathroom after sex, and try to get some alone time. He may have pushed some air into your butt too, which youíll want to get rid of in private. Alright, this isnít the sexiest aftermath, but hey, when it comes down to it, your butt is a butt. It does butt stuff.
Is Anal Sex Worth It?
For those who enjoy it, yes. Anal sex breaks a taboo, stimulates the genitals indirectly, and turns a lot of people on. And donít worry, you and your partner will become better at anal sex with practice. The more you do it, the less work youíll have to put into preparation.
Of course, that doesnít mean you have to have anal sex all the time; have it as often as you really want to. The person on the receiving end dictates everything: if anal sex will happen, how often, how fast, how hard, etc. Have fun!