|Ready or Not Eye MaskLet's your lover tell you whether she's in the mood for sexLet me save you the trouble: She's not.|
The Ready or Not Sleep Mask is a not-so-subtle way to tell your lover to get the hell away from you. Buy this marriage-saver in complete privacy at ShopInPrivate.com.
What's that? You never want to have sex with your wife again? Well, that's weird, but whatever you want, dude. There are a couple of things you can buy that might help you avoid making whoopie with your woman forevermore. First, Axe Body Spray. Douse yourself. No, seriously: I'm a girl; I know these things. We rather you smell vaguely like Thai food and disappointment than smell like you have a secret life that involves making out and snuggling with frat boys. Next, buy this Ready or Not Eye Mask for your wife.
In theory, the Ready or Not Blindfold is a comfortable, sexy blindfold that you can use to tell if your lover is ready for a night of passion. The Ready or Not Sleepmask is reversible. One side reads "Ready," and the other side reads "Not 2nite."
Good for you Sport, you can expect to read a lot of "Not2Nite" in your future. I mean, you might as well buy your spouse a couple of twin beds. The good thing for her is that if she does ever decide to flip the mask over and explore the "Ready" side of life, she'll be blindfolded at the time so she won't have to look at your disgusting man-body. Maybe if you refrain from drooling all over her or panting into her ear canal, she'll let you have another go within a week or two.Product FeaturesThe Ready or Not Sleep Mask features a comfortable, elastic strap. It is red and lined with sultry black feathers. Slip it on and let your partner know you're ready for love. You can also enjoy it as a blindfold during foreplay and lovemaking.