Initiate a Conversation

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Initiate a Conversation

Mister Private is a smooth operator, and he can show you how to be one too.

  • How to start a conversation
  • Mister Private likes to converse with the ladies
  • How To Initiate A Conversation With Someone You Don't Know
    Beginning a conversation with someone you’ve never met before can be a challenge. You’ll need to be smooth, articulate and witty—thank goodness Mister Private is all three. I’m the perfect person to give you fail-proof tips on how to talk to an individual you’re interested in. Let’s set the scene: you’re in a bar on a Saturday night. You see a beautiful woman out of the corner of your eye and she’s laughing with her group of friends. What do you do? Wait until she’s alone. Women go to the bathroom in groups of two, three or seventeen. Maybe she doesn’t have to go. Or perhaps her friends leave momentarily to refill their Cosmopolitans. This is the time to make your move.

    To keep you out of harm’s way, I should warn you that pick up lines don’t work. For every bad pick up line, there’s a humiliating response or a smack across the face waiting for you. Start off with a question that doesn’t have a yes or no answer. This will enable her to give you information about herself or her thoughts. Women love to share their opinions. Unfortunately “Conversation starters,” like, “What’s your favorite book?” or “If you had to be deaf or blind, which would you choose?” are too contrived and rehearsed. It’s best to act natural. No one in their right mind asks those questions in a bar…but then again, I guess no one is usually in their right mind in a bar. A good opener is the old standby, “What are you drinking?” It’s harmless enough and there’s usually an answer. The worst that can happen is she’ll throw it on you.

    If the location is crowded or noisy, communication can be tough. Try to start your initial approach with the word "Hi." This will get her attention and will allow her to hear what you are saying. So instead of "What are you drinking?" in a crowded place you might say "Hi...What are you drinking?".

    After a couple of minutes, ask for her name. Don’t lead off with, “Hi, my name is…” or you’ll come off as one of those nametags they hand out at singles’ events. Once you learn her name, use it a couple of times throughout the conversation. This will show you’re conscientious and also conscious. You can talk about things going on in the room, like the music or the food; but don’t go on an emotional rant about the meaning of life. Likewise, don’t talk about politics, the war or disease. People go out to have a good time. Don’t be a Danny Downer.

    Remember to be polite, smile, make eye contact and use open body language. You shouldn’t be too touchy. As the conversation winds down, interject a sincere compliment, like, “That dress brings out your eyes,” or, “You have a great laugh.” Finally, ask to write down her e-mail address. Women find that less threatening than asking for a phone number. If she seems to be interested, say something suave like, “You can put your phone number on there, too.” If she doesn’t bite, don’t be discouraged! Try, try again. But don’t try, try again with the same person. Choose another woman and make sure it isn’t her friend.

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