Edible Underwear - Tested
Edible Underwear - The Whole Story
|Edible Underwear Tastes Awful - Beware!|
In another effort to give you an honest opinion about the products
we carry, ShopInPrivate.com recently conducted a taste test of edible underwear. The
results will surprise you.
Anticipation was high:Before we conducted the taste test (which was very eagerly awaited by our employees and friends) everyone had heard of edible underwear. The announcement that we would taste-test them was electric. Everyone wanted to try a piece of what lies inside that slender box. Are they delicious? Are they sweet? Are they a fruit-rollup? If we happened to get trapped in the warehouse by a winter storm could we eat them to survive?
Is Edible Underwear Just Like a Fruit Rollup? The Answer: Nope. When we opened the box, everyone looked on with amazement. "that's it?!" they cried. "That's all there is?!" The underwear is folded into an object about the size of a playing card. When unfolded it is a strip of material no wider than a playing card and no thicker than a sheet of paper. It is a thong, with spaghetti straps made of the same thin material. It probably weighs less than a post-it note. Calling edible underwear flimsy is a vast understatement.
Upon tasting the edible underwear the mood only became worse "This is terrible.", "Yuck", and "Gross" were all heard. I was suddenly ashamed to have offered this to our employees. Could I be used under the current labor laws? The tirade of product insults continued "this stuff sticks to your teeth!" "My whole mouth is red!" "If you thought the pink straps were terrible, you need to try the black part. Yuck!" The insults kept coming.
It is obvious, edible underwear tastes terrible and should not really be considered something that you would actually consume.
My TV Appearance: few nights after this taste test, I made a television appearance on a show about safe sex. I brought along some edible underwear for another taste test. The audience was excited to participate in the taste test. When I opened them, the group gasped. "That's it" the host exclaimed. The tasting went no better the second time around. Everyone agreed, they taste terrible. They stuck to the hostess's teeth. It was a mess. The show ended, the crew went for a beer (who was I to refuse?), and hours later I was looking into the bathroom mirror. My mouth was flourescent red. The expose' on edible underwear had to be written.
In conclusion: Edible underwear is the world's biggest disappointment. They are small and flimsy. They tastes terrible. They stick to your teeth. They turn your mouth red. There is also no discernable difference between the mens "brief" and the womens "undie".